Limbo it is...

So much has happened and it's time to start blogging again. My emotions have run the full gambit. The line from beginning to end has been completely redefined. There is no doubt that my life is changing, yet it is still uncomfortably too similar. I am under the impression that most couples facing divorce tend to physically separate before or during the process. And most certainly by the time it's 'final'. But why in this crazy world would we do anything predictable?
Most days the discomfort of living in limbo seems apparent only to myself. For the kids not much has changed. Mom has her own room now. Alli and Olivia share a room. There is 'mommy time' during the week and 'daddy time' on the weekends but essentially life for them has been unchanged. Which was one of the goals of going about the separation/divorce in this manner. There have been endless discussions with the kiddos about what is, has, and will be happening. They have approached us with questions and they each own an age appropriate book that explains divorce. I can't help but think that we have thought each detail through to the best of our ability.
Now with the move so close yet so far away the pain and discomfort of living in limbo becomes overwhelming at times. I look at the kids and I catch a glimpse of Sean and I realize I am the only one feeling the desire to hurry this process up. I'm sure Sean is ready to move on, I'm sure he wouldn't want to live this way any longer than was necessary. I also don't doubt that for him right now it's the convenient way to do things. Changing it up, throwing a wrench in it for him would be uncomfortable. I've never seen a man who thrives so much on predictability and convenience. It's just who he is.
I, on the other hand am ready to run. I am ready to stand on my own two feet and go get 'em! I know where I want to be and it's not here. I have a life, a family, waiting for me. I have friends who want to catch up and be there to lean on. I have a new life to get started on. I have a job to find. I have a house to hunt for.I have things that need to be done and ready for the kids.
The one thing I am not ready to leave behind is the kids, who will be patiently waiting with Sean for me to get things in order so we can have a suitable home and a routine worked out.
One day my heart won't feel torn in two. I can't help but feel that the sooner I rip the band-aid the sooner I can be healed. The sooner I can have life the way it should be for all of us.
As far as I'm concerned this whole living in limbo situation is for the birds!

Wow!

I guess I took a month off!

December was crazy busy! I had to do all of my Christmas preparation in the beginning of the month. Usually I do it from the day after Thanksgiving until the week before Christmas. This year we were lucky because we were going to visit Nana, Papa Peter, Uncle Travis, Sissy and Uncle Jacob in Atlanta! We were so excited to get to take the kids on such an adventure and to see so much of our family!

We left on December 15th. Nana had our whole 10 days there planned. We went to so many places and had so many experiences, and caught up with family! Here are some of the pictures, and things we did:
On the plane!

I was worried about Olivia since it was a 4 hour flight. But, headphones+Dora playing on the screen right in front of her= A happy 2 year old. It helps that she's such a good little 2 year old. She was interested in airplanes before the trip, so the experience was exciting. Once she started getting antsy there were snacks and then she played 'I want Mom...No, I want Dad' for a while and before she knew it we were there. It definitely could have been worse. The other kids were perfectly behaved. Only needing a couple of reminders to talk quieter.

At the "New World of Coke" with the Coke Bear!

Can you say "Sugar High?!" and....Crash!

Needless to say all of the soft drinks, caffeinated and otherwise, were happily consumed!

We made the boys take the older kids on a walk and to play some basketball while Mom and sisters (meli and I) went on a last minute shopping trip with Olivia. They definitely had fun!

At the amazing Georgia Aquarium...it was so neat! The kids loved it!!

The pre-Christmas Eve festivities...aka Story time...aka Show off the Parker Posing skills!
It was such a treat to hear Papa read the story of Christmas from the Bible as well as his animated rendition of The Night Before Christmas.

After we left Meli took some time to use her teacher skills to educate a giant frog and Travis.

Two Lissa's in a pod aka "Two Balls in a Trough"

We left EARLY Christmas Eve morning. I definitely paid the price for pulling an all-nighter to spend some extra quality time with the siblings. It was worth it, and I would do it again. Regardless, we all arrived home safe and exhausted! I literally laid across Alli and Aubrey on the flight home to catch some zzz's. We obviously weren't stocked up on food after being away for 10 days so we had to take a much dreaded trip to wal-mart to stock up on some necessities and a couple of last minute gifts. It was a close call but we all survived that experience unharmed.

It was a whirlwind and a blast. We had a Merry Christmas and hope you did too!