Megan: The Student

So for the first time in almost 10 years, I turned selfish. I am back at school, and I love it. I really never thought I would love school this much, ever. But, it makes a big difference when you find something you love. I am going for cosmetology and the more we learn about, the more I am totally loving it. We are 3 weeks in and so far in my cosmetology classes I have 100% and in my online human resources class I have 96%. So for any of you who don't know my history, I have sucked at school and was average at best, it was a really hard time in my life and I said goodbye in '99 and didn't really look back.
So what happened?
It all started around high school. My grandma was persistent in always telling me I should be a hair dresser and that thought stayed with me. Then Sean's brother married a hair stylist and we were really close for quite a few years (they were divorced, and while we always said we would be friends forever, things happen...i understand-sort of- and still love her). I learned a lot from her, and realized that I would really like to do that someday, I had young kids and just didn't think it was possible, so put it on the back burner.
Then last year after Olivia was born, I had a series of extremely difficult personal trials. After a lot of thought, and discussion, and more thought, Sean and I decided together that now was the time.
The week before school I was panic stricken, I changed my schedule 2x, tried desperately to find a sitter for the 2 younger girls and had every thought about how I might fail, I'm not good at being a student. The negative thoughts were overwhelming. Finally, the friday before school started I found a sitter, an amazing mom of 4 that has somehow found a way to love and care for my kids, too. (It's easy when they are your own kids, but every mother knows that other peoples children are harder to love and much easier to become annoyed with). Everything fell into place. I also ended up in a 7am class and I'm NOT a morning person. Now I have to get up at 5am, this has previously been completely unheard of for me. One more reason to fail, right? Well, so far I have proven everything I thought, wrong. I have only missed one day, and truly missed being at school, but my kids were sick and needed me. I have found out that I am eager to learn and willing to do assignments (in my h.r. class) that would otherwise be unappealing to me. I know the answers to questions and I have been open to learning the most tedious of tasks. I want to know the foundations inside out and backwards so that when it comes to the fun stuff I can be the best. I enjoy my homework and get it done early. I have become everything I wasn't.
The flip side of the coin is, that for the most part, I look forward to coming home. I still have my long hard and frustrating days, but I make it through and still look forward to tomorrow. I feel like I have more to offer my kids and I feel like I am being a great example to all of them. It has been exhilerating! I feel like a new person. Sean is happy with the change and has been supportive all along. He has encouraged me when I was frustrated and has been willing to do almost anything he can to help.
I feel so blessed!